Transparency...

What is mind blowing is that when Jesus died on the cross He looked out and saw my face.... and when He saw my face he knew exactly what my life would be.... He could see the depths of my heart and in that moment He still loved me the same and still said, "father forgive her..." he advocated for me, even though I deserve a criminal's death he continues to extend grace and mercy everyday....so why is it when we struggle repeatedly with something we try to hide it, and act like everything is okay? Or maybe I should just own that... when I struggle with something I often try to conceal it from Jesus, as if he can't see through me already. I honestly believe I am not the only one that struggles with this... or rather shame consumes me to the point of not being able to approach my best friend......
Why don't I give Jesus the transparency of my heart that He deserves? What am I afraid of? Honestly, He does not need my self-righteous heart that attempts to conceal what I am thinking, feeling or struggling with.... He knows everything anyway! I am finding that when I consciously bare all before him, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugliest parts of my heart, he comes along side me, and whispers,.... it was for all this that He sacrificed His life for me. It is in these times with Him that I can see he delights in who I am and who he is making me to be. Jesus is amazing.... he brings me hope, peace, healing.... He gives me LIFE